Nobody is born naturally good at a kickflip.
What is the one thing you are just not good at? If you have any answer at all to that question, chances are you’re holding back a skill by believing it’s a talent. You probably don’t do it often. You’re a science, data or business geek. You learned to drive a car, so you get that skills are built. So did I. Yet, there was that one place in my life where my brain was out to lunch on the whole difference between the two. And that one area – was money.
I’m going to tell you about my money story, but bear in mind, I might as well be talking about building websites, or analyzing data or planning a sales launch. Although I’m going to tell you how awesome I think I am with money now, stay with me because you can be just as incredible – at whatever it is you’re struggling with today. How do I know? Read on.
I was no good with money. Everybody in my family, except my brother, knew this. From the time I understood I shouldn’t put money in my mouth, if I got a quarter, I spent it. My best friend was a saver. Sadly, I was not.
I’ve been up to my neck in hock since the third grade. When I announced my desire to quit playing the cello three weeks after my parents rented the instrument, they informed me I could quit but I’d have to pay off the year-long lease- twelve dollars a month. So at the age of eight, I already owed more money than I’d ever seen. And that’s the way I stayed, all the way into my thirties.
During my teens, I learned from my parents that bill-paying was a task that was nerve-wracking and emotionally charged. When the bills were spread out on the dining room table and money was being discussed, a kid could get her feelings hurt if she interrupted. A kid ought to find something to do outside. A kid oughta know, money was scarce and dangerous.
During my twenties, people my age were told we were the first generation who would be worse off than our parents. Owning a home would be impossible for us. We dealt with insane interest rates – 17% on homes, 25% on cars – balloon mortgages and seven percent unemployment. Money was a struggle.
I continued the bill-paying traditions I was raised with – piling drama, fear, and resentment into the activity, putting it off for weeks and then getting socked with late fees and overdrafts. The verdict was in, the case was closed and the judge had retired. I was bad with money.
Then one day, heading into my home office to slay the dragon of debt, I had a weird thought. At the time the idea hit, I was exactly five feet into the room. The sun was out, I was thinking about how I didn’t want to have meltdowns as I paid bills and the thought floated into my mind – “What if money is a skill?”
That one thought, so obvious, so clear, was like a ray of light from heaven shining down on me. What if I was bad at money because I hadn’t learned about money?
What if I could be good at money?
I had honestly never considered such a thing. I thought being good with money was a talent, a trait, a set-in-stone facet of my personality. The minute it occurred to me that I could be wrong, I was practically giddy with the possibilities.
That changed everything. First off, I decided to never have a bill-paying meltdown again. I simply decided to pay bills once a week, on a weekday so I didn’t ruin my weekend. Bill paying night became sacred. I read every book on money I could get my hands on. I tried to make more, spend less, save money upfront, and pay down debt. I refused to see my raises, making sure that any additional earnings went into our 401K or savings or investments. I refused to take on any new debt and I refused to pay for anything I could do myself. I almost killed myself applying driveway sealer in August by hand. I now pay for that service with pleasure.
Today? I’m damn good with a greenback. I enjoy bill night and most of my thoughts about money are happy.
My problem wasn’t that I was bad at money. My problem was that I didn’t believe I could be good at managing money.
What one thing, if you could change it, would make a huge impact on your life or work?
That one thing is a skill. Relationships are skills. Managing time – skill. Mastering good health? A skill. Learning a new language, mastering a new product, writing great marketing copy? Skill, skill, skill. Relaxing? Skill. Small talk at parties? Skill. Loving yourself? Practice makes perfect, girlfriend – that shit is a skill.
You can change that one thing. Trust me.
And that? Is worth believing.
Oh, and the one thing you need to know about talent? It’s optional, dude.
If you would like help figuring out where you need to skill build so that you can blow open the doors on your life, Book a free 25 minute session – click here. We meet on a video call, camera’s on or off. It would be my pleasure.