Someday, you’ll have inbox zero. Someday, you’ll have a regular exercise routine. Someday, you’ll lose ten pounds and someday…you’ll live your best life… as your best self.
Here’s a secret. That day can be today.
All you have to do is agree that even though that day is today… your inbox might have 491 emails, 242 of them unread.
All you have to do is agree that what you did yesterday is no proof of who you are.
The dirty dishes in the sink this morning, the dog that ate your running shoes, the late-night nacho extravaganza yesterday, and the total lack of white space in your calendar today… doesn’t mean that you can’t be your best self and live your best life – today.
Did I lose you?
Hang in there.
This is a short read and you said that you wanted all those someday things.
Ok, do this with me… I want you to imagine yourself at eight-five. Unless you are eighty-five, then just be you.
You are eighty-five. You’ve already retired unless you’re the President, in which case, you’re excused.
You’re eighty-five. Your skin has lost its elasticity. Your joints are stiff and it takes a long time to get camera-ready.
Think of someone close to you – a spouse, a child, a friend. How old will they be? What will they look like?
What will you look like?
Where are you living? In your home? How are you managing in that home at this age? Who cares for the lawn? How do you get groceries?
Close your eyes and really see it. Then open them again. I’ll wait.
Let me ask you something.
What is that one thing, you know the one thing, you are always saying you would like to improve about yourself? I know there’s a long list, but start with the one you’ve been working on for your whole life and still haven’t nailed.
When you saw yourself at eighty-five, did that problem still exist?
Just think about that.
When do you believe you will change? Some murky year between now and eighty-five? Some murky year after eighty-five?
How important was this change to your eighty-five-year-old self?
OK … you’re free, come back to your current age. At this point in time, what are you telling yourself about how life will be when you:
- Get to the perfect weight
- Get your desk and inbox under control
- Get your house running smoothly
- Become a regular meditator
- Kick sugar and flour to the curb
- Build up serious muscle tone
- Learn to be a full stack developer
- Move to the next level at work
- Buy that house, get that dog, have those kids, break that glass ceiling, be the change you want to see, become a force for good in the world and live life to the fullest?
What are you telling yourself about WHO you will be then?
Be that.
Be that person – now.
If you have great muscle tone and you’ve lost weight, then who are you? Healthy? Beautiful? So what? Why do you want that? So you can live long? So you can shoot a music video?
A person who had accomplished what you want to accomplish would be doing something different than you are doing now. They would dress different, they’d be serving soup to the poor this weekend, they’d be auditioning for the Voice.
Don’t wait until you’re eighty-five to do those things. Especially the Voice audition.
If you have inbox zero and blocks of space on your calendar at work – so what? What does that mean? Does that mean you’re organized? Does that mean you’re responsive? Does that mean you finally get to work on the important things and do that strategic thinking at work?
Why not skip the step where you wish you could do that… and just… do that? Act like a person that’s organized. Act like a person who gets five hundred emails a day and still is responsive. How would that even work?
Right. Some of this you can do right now… you can act organized… by planning and prioritizing and some stuff… like being responsive and strategic with five hundred emails a day just isn’t going to look like inbox zero – ever. It’s going to look like not answering those emails so fast and actually being on do not disturb while you do some work. And then it might look like pinging a few key people to make sure they have what they need from you. They’ll resend that email – believe me.
OK go back to being eighty-five and imagine you never did any of the things you wanted or believed you wanted to do. You’re overweight. You can’t get out of a chair. You spent your whole career being reactive, suffering at your desk, walked away from work early because you couldn’t take another day and your retirement fund is limited. Your mind is just as tumultuous as it is today… you never did learn to meditate. Your voice is shot and you never made a music video. Whatever it is that you are saying you’ll accomplish later – go to later and see the result of not doing it.
Wow! Right?
What did you learn?
When I did this exercise, I realized that not accomplishing that one thing wasn’t what brought me a deep sense of regret. It was all the things I didn’t do because I was waiting for me to be perfect before I started. At eighty-five, I was like – Amy, you idiot, why didn’t you just …. go for it anyway? Not even trying was my worst-case scenario… and now… I was living it.
Deep breath. Relax.
Straighten your spine.
What if the only moment you ever have to be your best self, living your best life… is now?
Everything’s OK – but you don’t really have plenty of time.
The time is now.
It is better to take voice lessons at fifty-eight, than never to have sung at all.
If you want to be a person who is relaxed, exercises, eats a lot of veggies and says no to cake, gets the most important work done during the business day, and watches plural site videos on the couch while eating popcorn …. while their spouse watches re-runs… then be that.
You’re not going to be perfect.
It’s not going to be easy.
You’re not going to be happy all the time.
And that’s OK –
None of that is actually happening for you now either. You already know how to do imperfect, difficult, and mildly annoyed.
You got this.
OK.. .one last trip to the future. Imagine you did that… ate big salads, went for terrific walks, only worked eight hours a day, and learned how to build a UI in angular while wearing your noise-canceling earphones as you cuddled up with your honey. Imagine you took singing lessons and did a walk-on at the local bar for your friend’s band and brought down the house singing Born to Be Wild at the top of your lungs.
You didn’t win The Voice but you sang, man, you sang.
Go a bit more into the future. You have been living that life, eating apples, walking in the sun, not overworking, learning new things, and belting them out at the corner bar on Fridays for years now, maybe decades. You just started one day… you read this crazy blog and you just…. started acting AS IF you were living your best life.
You didn’t make it a problem.
You didn’t need to be perfect.
You just…decided to act as if you already had your best life.
And that? Is just possible.