Turns out that someone was right, but not for the reason you think.
When we dress for the job we want, we think we’re letting other people see us as if we’re ready and able to step into that role. Turns out, the person we’re actually convincing is ourselves.
If you’re a growth-minded person, you have some future state you’re working toward. Myself, I want to be a thin, buff woman who can run a 5K without having to plan a year in advance. I also want to be a person who picks up after herself in a timeframe that is somewhat relevant to the day the mess is made. And I want to be an innovative business partner, able to find great ways to use technology to make our company perform better, who just happens to grab great projects for her team while she’s doing it.
That’s a lot of “stuff” I want to do.
Here’s where it starts to break down. When I look at all I would like to learn, do and become, and I compare that to some reality checks like I want to play Pictionary with my granddaughter at the drop of a hat and be able to inhale the latest Stephen King novel the same week it comes out – I’m left with a sinking feeling that it’s all impossible. I’m trying to see how all the steps I need to take come together and not getting a clear picture, so I often wind up working on some version of “I can’t see how to have it all.”
My coach is always saying we have to act as if we’re the person we want to be. I took that to mean that I needed to visualize myself in the future. Great. I love daydreaming – it’s easy and you can eat cheese crackers while you do it.
Thin? Check. Buff? Check. Successful? Check. Clean house? Check.
Ok – but then my coach tells me – Be more specific.
OK, so daydream up more details, right?
Here goes! Buff means that I’m 132 lbs, can run a 5K easily, can carry my 80 lb dog up one flight of stairs and I can do a Sunrise Salutation, with the chaturanga. And successful means my team is cohesive and working toward next leveling themselves and I have time to take on new tasks from my manager plus all that innovation stuff I mentioned. Clean house? Well, I think we all know what that looks like – a Better Homes and Gardens cover. Duh.
This week, I finally got what she’s been driving at. All of that future visualization is good but it’s not going to get me a clean house or a swell pat on the back from my boss. What she means by specific is to think lifestyle specific.
If we want to actually achieve that future vision of us, we have to imagine that person’s lifestyle… and live there – now.
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A woman who is able to innovate has to know what other business teams are planning, and not just at budget time. She needs to know the direction they want to head, with or without technological help and then research ways to add value. To be that woman two years from now, I have to be building relationships that extend beyond day-to-day survival. So I have to live that lifestyle today. That means I need to have meetings on my calendar that aren’t just about the technical issues other teams are having today. It means I have to be asking my team to work now at the level they’ll need to be for me to do that.
That buff, thin woman I want to be has a specific lifestyle too – she eats a certain way, she has to make her exercise a priority. Just because she’s thin and healthy doesn’t mean she gets to sit on her keester and watch Suits. The stationary woman who catches a full season in a week looks a lot like me – because I’m living her lifestyle.
Get it?
This all seems obvious but most of us still think statically, in clips and short outtakes when we think about the future. We think that if we get that next job, we’ll be happy. We don’t try to live a day in the shoes of the person that has that job. We think if we work hard and get there, we can still be the person we are today, but with the new job. Not likely. What we need to be doing is figuring out what the every-day average life looks like for the person you want to be. What does he do in the morning? What does he do at the office? What does he do after supper? Really see the full day-to-day lifestyle of that person.
Now ask yourself, does that look like a good life?
If the answer is yes, then starting living the lifestyle – today.
And that?
Is how you live in the future – right now.
Good to know.
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